Who is League Supremo?

It is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarise – anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarise the problem, people are a problem. Especially in Irish football.

Why do I bring the above up? Partly because it’s far easier to copy someone else’s writing than make up your own stuff, and also because we’ve had a bit of a control crisis in the league of late. Who is in control? The FAI say the league are – though usually only when they screw up – while the league are busy pimping control to the FAI in exchange for cushty jobs in the new set up. So we had a vote. Only one person was really capable of getting themselves elected President of the league. But we think it–s only a figurative position in reality. Our suspicions were raised when several curious connections between John Delaney and Zaphod Beeblebrox arose. Both are two-faced – Beeblebrox literally – and both have an extra arm – Beeblebrox for to improve his ski-boxing, Delaney to accept instructions easier from Ollie Byrne.

So there must be someone else. Someone in the shadows, far removed from reality.

In a small obscure town in the middle of nowhere in particular, it was raining and cold. Bray, it was called. The people came to him. Or at least, he thought they did and it suited him to think they did. Occasionally, the people would ask him the questions at the games. And so it came to pass that he could tell people last season–s the League Cup semi-final draw before it had been announced anywhere else; that he could tell that Longford-UCD at the end of 2001 was postponed before anyone – even Aertel – knew; that he said he hoped Waterford beat Pat–s earlier this month despite always hating them. All he wondered was if the people were asking him questions or singing to his cat.

STIG reveals... Mad Tom... the ultimate source of Power in the league.

This article originally appeared in STIG volume 6, issue 6.